Tough Love Parenting

Why can't all children be parented with consistency, expectations, reminders, redirection, prompts, and love? Parenting wouldn't be so bad if kids did what we asked and teens followed our rules. However, many kids with behavioral and emotional issues are not easy to parent.

After trying various parenting approaches and feeling exasperated and inept, parents with challenging kids usually come to realize that their challenging child or teen needs a different type of parenting. To varying degrees, parents are confronted with offspring who are not motivated by a need to please, nor do they seem to understand cause and effect. This is the point when parents decide that parenting a challenging child is not the same as parenting a "regular" child.

Due to either biological, neurological, or trauma issues, kids with behavioral and emotional challenges often need what some people call "tough love" parenting. This might include some or all of the following: consequences imposed for every misdeed, all privileges to be earned - not given due to age or grade, very tight structure that only slowly loosens, high levels of accountability, or even an out-of-home placement.

Parents might implement Love and Logic parenting (loveandlogic.com) or Nancy Thomas parenting (nancythomasparenting.com) or other approaches developed for and found to be effective by some parents of challenging children and adolescents.

According to co-dependency therapist and author, Robert Burney, "tough love" is a misnomer because love without boundaries is not true love. He stipulates the need for parents to allow their child or adolescent to live with their choices. He says, "A parent who keeps rescuing a child from self-destructive behavior is on some level trying to be loving - but at the deepest level they are trying to rescue themselves from the pain of seeing their child destroy themselves. They are being selfish - which is human and normal - but they are doing it dishonestly by telling themselves they are doing it for the other person."

Due to the combination of a parent's personality and the child's issues, implementation of tough love parenting approaches can be very difficult. It takes commitment, perseverance, and support. Most of all, it becomes a practice in delayed gratification. The tough love approach that parents implement today, may not show positive results for months or even years.

Are you frustrated with your teen's behavior? This summer you can help them get back on track through wilderness therapy. To learn more about these remarkable transformation programs, click here >>

wilderness therapy programs for troubled teens

Share |


Home Residential Schools Wilderness Programs Weight Loss Programs About Aspen Aspen in the News Admissions Contact Us Our free newsletter offers tips and tools you need to create a happier and healthier family! Assess Your Child Assess Your Child's Need for Placement Admissions General Information Immediate Assistance Tuition & Financial Tuition Finance Options	Immediate Assistance \| Parents Speak Out \| Parenting Resources \| Jobs at Aspen \| Admissions CALL: (888) 972-7736 back to Articles Tough Love Parenting Why can't all children be parented with consistency, expectations, reminders, redirection, prompts, and love? Parenting wouldn't be so bad if kids did what we asked and teens followed our rules. However, many kids with behavioral and emotional issues are not easy to parent. After trying various parenting approaches and feeling exasperated and inept, parents with challenging kids usually come to realize that their challenging child or teen needs a different type of parenting. To varying degrees, parents are confronted with offspring who are not motivated by a need to please, nor do they seem to understand cause and effect. This is the point when parents decide that parenting a challenging child is not the same as parenting a "regular" child. Due to either biological, neurological, or trauma issues, kids with behavioral and emotional challenges often need what some people call "tough love" parenting. This might include some or all of the following: consequences imposed for every misdeed, all privileges to be earned - not given due to age or grade, very tight structure that only slowly loosens, high levels of accountability, or even an out-of-home placement. Parents might implement Love and Logic parenting (loveandlogic.com) or Nancy Thomas parenting (nancythomasparenting.com) or other approaches developed for and found to be effective by some parents of challenging children and adolescents. According to co-dependency therapist and author, Robert Burney, "tough love" is a misnomer because love without boundaries is not true love. He stipulates the need for parents to allow their child or adolescent to live with their choices. He says, "A parent who keeps rescuing a child from self-destructive behavior is on some level trying to be loving - but at the deepest level they are trying to rescue themselves from the pain of seeing their child destroy themselves. They are being selfish - which is human and normal - but they are doing it dishonestly by telling themselves they are doing it for the other person." Due to the combination of a parent's personality and the child's issues, implementation of tough love parenting approaches can be very difficult. It takes commitment, perseverance, and support. Most of all, it becomes a practice in delayed gratification. The tough love approach that parents implement today, may not show positive results for months or even years. Are you frustrated with your teen's behavior? This summer you can help them get back on track through wilderness therapy. To learn more about these remarkable transformation programs, click here >> Share \|
Copyright 2001-2009 Aspen Education Group. All Rights Reserved Terms & Conditions \| Privacy Policy \| Site Map